My Own Personal Battle To “Stay Comfortable.”

By Simone Kelly-Brown

I know from experience that getting out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to JUST DO IT can take your career into an entirely new dimension! Out of those three areas I mentioned earlier, writing is my first love. It comes easily for me and is even a hobby. I write fiction books and poetry.

Networking—believe it or not—was something I absolutely dreaded! Just the simple fact that I had to make small talk with “strangers” was something I avoided at all costs. I’m sure I missed out on several new clients or business alliances, because of my fear of ‘getting out there’ and mingling in sometimes uncomfortable environments. Slowly but surely, I started forcing myself to attend a function at least once a month. I stopped asking people to introduce me to others and started to become brave enough to go up to people on my own. I beefed up my networking skills by going with a purpose and plenty of practice! A few years later, I started my own networking organization (The Give ‘N Take Network for Women) that has members across the United States!

And public speaking, oh boy…don’t even get me started! As a manager and then eventually a director in Corporate America, I couldn’t avoid it, but I absolutely wished I could lock myself in my office and hide. Meeting after meeting, conference call after conference call, I had to present ideas to upper management, discuss employee issues, and present results from various projects. With 5 or less people in the room, I was cool; but once the crowd was any bigger, my hands would sort of tremble, my voice would crack, and the beads of perspiration would form on my forehead. I know…very attractive, right? As talkative as I am one on one, public speaking and me didn’t mix. :)

I hate to admit it, but I even remember turning down speaking engagements when Gots To Have It started to take off. I just wanted to stay in my comfort zone, behind my computer monitor where I was safe from making a fool of myself. But after finally saying “yes” to my first panel discussion, I found out that I was actually making an impact by encouraging others with my story and advice. I enjoyed seeing the warm faces and reassuring smiles in the audience looking back at me and nodding their heads. I especially loved that they had no idea my knees were wobbling under my skirt and how my hands were shaking every time I took a sip of my water. The line of people waiting to speak to me after my presentations confirmed that I was doing the right thing! Five years later, I actually get paid to speak at universities and business groups. Who knew? I’ve learned many tips from picking the brains of successful professionals who were amazing at public speaking.

My favorites on being prepared are:

-Know who your audience is and speak their language

-Be yourself, it truly shows

-Write out your presentation

-Practice in the mirror

-Tape record yourself to hear what needs improvement

Photo: Jackie Robinson Scholars and Simone

I’m proud to say, my knees no longer wobble and now, you have to drag me off the mic!


arrows.gifGETTING OVER PUBLIC SPEAKING JITTERS

Getting out of your comfort zone means you must be willing to grow; and most of the time that is a very uncomfortable feeling.
One of the universal fears most people face is the fear of Public Speaking. Sweaty palms, jittering teeth, upset stomach and nervous twitches are some of the ways this fear manifests itself. The good news is: anyone can overcome this fear if they are willing to step out of their comfort zone!

Below are a few practical ways to conquer fears of Public Speaking:

1. Think of Public Speaking as a conversation with a group of people. When you have conversations, your words flow naturally. You aren’t nervous, and people can feel your natural passion in regards to what you are saying. If you think of the audience as a group of your friends you can release some of your anxieties.

2. Before making a presentation it is imperative that you properly research your subject so your thoughts can flow with ease. No one likes to feel like they are being lectured to in a presentation. It is much more pleasant to feel like the person in front of the room is sharing useful information/advice that would make for good conversation later.

3. It is important to prepare an outline of your presentation to give your listeners a proper introduction, body and conclusion of your thoughts. An outline shouldn’t be used to read from, but as a summary of the main thoughts you will share. With enough practice you will become very familiar with your presentation so that you won’t need to read your outline. You will be able to just occasionally look at it in order to keep on track.

4. You must know your audience. For instance, you probably wouldn’t want to present a medical lecture to group of photographers. Researching your audience helps you to prepare a presentation that will be of interest to them. This will also help you to feel as if you have a connection with your audience.

5. It is only through consistent practice that you are able to overcome your fears. Start off with practicing your Public Speaking today! Practice presenting as much as possible by introducing yourself at networking functions, testifying in church, presenting at staff meetings, etc. Remember practice will make you more confident. Confidence is what makes you not as concerned about other people’s acceptance of your presentation because you have done your homework.


Remember, no one knows what you are going to say before you open your mouth. If you make a mistake no one will know except you. The mere fact that you had the courage to come out of your comfort zone and stand in front of a group of people makes you successful. It’s all in how you choose to approach things in life…either to seek to conquer or to be defeated.
I wish you continued success on your life’s journey.

Stacie N.C. Grant

Stacie is the NYC Event Manager of Give ‘N Take Network and founder of C&G Enterprises in 1994 as a motivational speaker. Since then C&G has developed into three main entities: The C&G Youth Scholars Program, C&G Professional Event Coordinators, & C&G Technology Support. She has also published various motivational articles and is a prominent motivational speaker/lecturer/trainer. View her site online:http://www.cgenterprisesonline.com/.

arrows.gifRESOURCES TO GET YOU MOVIN’:

Fear of Public Speaking

Links to Speaker Clubs/Coaches

arrows.gifWRITING TO GET AHEAD


Yes, writing can be hard. Writing to promote your business can be even harder. Some of the worst writing I’ve ever seen has included the tight, joyless, airless copy that a businessperson has put up on their website, in a press release, or in a brochure describing their work or services. Usually this kind of writing is gripped in fear! The good news, though, is that improving your writing can be fun! You let loose, let go, and don’t be afraid to show your true colors. Here are a few tips on how to do that:

1. Find examples of marketing materials from other businesses that you like and study it. You may find it in the most unlikely places, like your junk mail pile! When an ad makes you want to buy, figure out why. What kind of verbs does the copy use? What kind of descriptors?
2. When you sit down to write, don’t agonize over your work for hours and hours. Give yourself a time limit. Work for only an hour and pour out your heart with NO EDITING. Don’t worry about being flip, silly, or un-businesslike.
3. Pretend that you’re writing for someone else who you think is the absolute best at what they do and you want to totally RAVE about them. Sometimes we hold back because we don’t want to toot our own horns, but it’s the best thing you can do for your writing.
4. Take a break and leave the copy alone for a few hours. Use the time to think about whether you’ve held anything back for fear. If you have, ask yourself, “Is this fear valid?” and “Is having this fear worth sacrificing being the best I can be for my business?” Ideally, of course, the answer is no!
5. Go back and write down what you’ve held back and put it in. Remember, nothing is written in stone. You can always test what you’ve done. If it doesn’t work, change it. But don’t let the doubt keep you from moving forward.

If you’re having trouble jumping into being fearless, think about this: the more fearless you are, the more you can experiment, play and have fun with your business, and the more successful you will be. Isn’t that why you created your own business in the first place?

Author and Writing Coach Sophfronia Scott is “The Book Sistah” TM. Get her FREE REPORT, “The 5 Big Mistakes Most Writers Make When Trying to Get Published” and her FREE online writing and publishing tips at http://www.TheBookSistah.com

RESOURCES TO GET YOU MOVIN’:

How to use writing for your business

arrows.gifNETWORKING WITH A PLAN:

I moved to New Jersey a few years ago, and I have made so many new friends and new customers by using the following five techniques. Networking can be rewarding in many ways. The social rewards of making new friends and associates are long lasting. The business rewards of making new customers and helping others with your own business contacts is vital to all of our businesses.

1. 3-Foot Rule: anyone you are within 3 feet of, you start a conversation with them

2. Saying Hello: this one word has made me so much money. You may find it uncomfortable to start conversations with strangers, but try it anyway.

3. Listen to the person you are networking with. You may find that you can fulfill a need or solve a problem with your business, product or your contacts.

4. Be prepared to talk about yourself, your business or your product. Give a brief explanation of who you are and what you do.

5. Follow-up: exchange business cards and always follow-up with contacts that you make while networking. Follow-up is key.


Fadila Gathers, FG Marketing, LLC